Monthly Emails

Find Patience with Your People

June 4, 2018

Which of these situations applies to you?

SITUATION A: You feel frustrated by people in your life who lack productivity and motivation. You try creative approaches to help, and when those solutions don't work, you get upset. That's when you lose patience and feel ashamed at the way you handled yourself.

This means you are internally motivated.

SITUATION B: You wonder why you aren't more motivated and why your goals take longer to achieve. You're easily distracted and disinterested in what others find important. You find yourself shutting down and pulling away from those who put pressure on you.

This means you are externally motivated.

If you chose Situation A, this message is mostly for you. If you chose B, this message is designed to help you embrace who you are and help you seek proper support.

Situation A, you are internally motivated. This means you look for opportunities for advancement, and you jump. You work hard with focus, and you need minimum direction. You see this as a strength, and it is, however, your traits are not superior. You were born with them. It's your natural temperament. It doesn't mean you have found "the way."   You might view externally motivated individuals (Situation B) as lazy, entitled, unacceptable, spoiled, or unintelligent.

Your judgments are incorrect.

Externally motivated people need pressure outside of themselves to accomplish their goals. It doesn't mean they lack passion. They thrive on deadlines, accountability groups, creative challenges, and the right timing to find their finish line. When internal motivators push them to perform, it can feel debilitating. It can seem oppressive. External motivators can be productive, but they freeze under too much criticism and pressure.

If you're internally motivated and you feel challenged by an externally motivated spouse, friend, employee, or child, there's hope. Here are a few ways to change your tactics and expectations:

1. Accept them for who they are. No amount of correcting or criticism will help. You cannot change an externally motivated person.
2. Stop negatively comparing external motivators to others and yourself. Apple and oranges are both fruits, just as you are both capable of the same achievements.
3. If you are annoyed or afraid for this person, they probably aren't feeling your love. Your fear will only cause you stress and prevent them from progress.

If you're having this situation in your life, come see me. The solutions are unique to each individual.  With this new information, you might find yourself being more patient than ever. And if you're unsure if you're externally or internally motivated, let's talk.

This is a crucial step in self-discovery.

Situation B folks, I'll leave you with some parting advice--it's not okay for anyone to berate or judge you. You're going to have to ask for help from the right people and accept those who do not understand. When you are supported appropriately, nothing can stop you from greatness

Until next time,


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