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Resentment Is Self-Imposed: Name It And Claim It!

November 27, 2016
Anger is swirling around us at the moment and no one is immune. We are reeling, confused, and really want some answers. What now? Well, let's talk about anger. Anger is one of the most taboo topics in spiritual communities. 

Let's start by identifying what anger is not. Anger and resentment are not the same feelings, however they do run parallel. You can feel both of these, but it's important to recognize that not all anger is resentment. 

Anger can be productive, healthy, and is often a natural reaction to an event or situation. Resentment is self-imposed. It's a voluntary negative (anger) response to a past event. Resentment is not productive, nor does it lend itself to resolution. 

If we want to evoke change in ourselves and each other, it is helpful to keep the distinction clear between anger and resentment. In effect, this is a grounding exercise. 

If we are clear about the difference between the two, we can center ourselves when these powerful feeling arise. We can sit out the resentment and let it rest. This gives us the time that's necessary to dial into those feeling of anger.

In order to move past resentment, you need to "name it and claim it." Find a place in your head for events that provoke this resentment. Call forth the resentments in your life and face them head on. 

For example:
  • Set a limit on the amount of time you will focus on the slight or the angering event, and then switch gears.
  • Take a look at what "truths" you have told yourself about this situation. 
  • Is there a chance you might be mistaken? Do you have all the information?
When I see someone who is angry, I want to embrace that. When anger is recognized and understood it is a beautiful force within the individual that can allow for change and resolution. 

Anger resolved is a path to connection with others. It's an opportunity for understanding that can lead to healing. Resentment is an impenetrable wall of bitterness that slowly erodes the desire for connection and understanding. 

If you are feeling angry, please reach out, talk about it, and get support in processing this. I am always here to help and I can hold space for your anger. You have my promise!  

Remember, resentments are much harder to heal from, so don't allow them to fester. Embrace the natural and healthy emotion of ANGER! 

Until next time,

Suzi Caffreys

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